As a follow up to my post on 10 Steps to Conflict Resolution I thought I’d post this list of ‘Rules for Fighting’ that I dug out of one of my marriage counselling files.
Again – it applies to all kinds of relationships and I can’t see why it’s not relevant to bloggers (some points more than others). I hope some find it of some use.
- Know what you’re fighting about
- Stick to one subject only
- Be direct – say how you feel, say what you require
- Choose the time of your battles carefully
- Keep quarrels private
- Don’t read your partner’s mind
- Don’t expect your partner to read your mind
- Don’t Blame
- Own your own feelings – this means starting sentences with ‘I feel’, not ‘you make me feel’
- Don’t talk each other down
- Don’t hit below the belt
- Don’t wear the belt too high
- Don’t bring up past fights and use them as ammunition for the present one
- Actively listen
- No physical Violence
PS: In terms of a source for this – it was given to me by a friend with no note of the original source on it.