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Do You Feel Like You Don’t Belong as a Blogger?
[I Do Somedays]

Posted By Darren Rowse 29th of April 2010 Miscellaneous Blog Tips 0 Comments

Some one pinch me please…. this must be a dream!

November 2002

Early DaysAt the end of a day on a warm November day when I was about to leave work a friend emailed me a link in an email suggesting I check out a blog because it seems to be on a topic I have an interest in.

It’s one of those emails that most of us regularly trash without looking at because we don’t have time – but on that day I had a spare few minutes and I followed the link.

The blog was on a topic I was interested in – however it was the medium of blogging itself that immediately grabbed my attention.

  • What was this ‘blog’ thing that enabled a Kiwi guy living in Prague to have his voice amplified around the world to thousands of people?
  • What was this ‘blogosphere’ thing that enabled not only one guy to have a voice – but thousands of people have a voice, interact with each other and build community?

I was immediately hooked and started a blog of my own within a few hours. ‘It could be fun’ I told my wife….

The rest, as they say, is history….

April 2010

2010Now on this cool Autumn day (remember I live in Australia), 7 and a half years later I:

  • make a good living from blogging (and have been full time at it for around 5 years)
  • have written a book on the topic (it’s 2nd edition debuted at #140 on Amazon’s best seller list this week)
  • have around 3 million people each month read what I publish
  • have been interviewed and made appearances in more mainstream media that I can count
  • get invitations to speak around the world on my topics of interest

I feel like I’ve been living in a dream

The above list of ‘achievements’ is actually something that I feel should be written about someone else. You see I’m not qualified to have them written about me.

Recently at a conference where speakers shared their ‘credentials’ to speak on their topics of expertise I decided to share my own list of ‘credentials’ from my life before blogging.

The list included:

  • 20 jobs in 10 years (none of them in social media/web/tech or anything slightly related to doing anything online)
  • a Bachelor of…. Theology (it took me almost 10 years to get)
  • Half a Bachelor of Marketing (I loved the marketing subjects but kept failing the more ‘business’ related topics and ended up giving up.
  • C grade average in English at High School
  • Incapable of making text BOLD for 3 months into my first blog

I was certainly not a dismal failure in life. I’d done pretty well in high school, had achieved in some of my jobs and study and had a fairly happy and healthy life – however I was certainly not a high achiever with too many skills or experiences that would set me up as a blogger.

In fact if I could add to the list one thing it’d be that I was a fairly undisciplined kind of person. I’d not had a great track record at sticking to too many things for the long term (my longest stint in a job was 2.5 years) and was notoriously bad at deadlines. The thought of doing something daily for 8 years would not have been something I’d have seen myself ever doing.

Many days I wake up in the morning and think about where blogging has taken me and wonder if it’s all been a dream or a mistake – I really don’t think I belong in this life some days….

None of Us Really Belong

I’m sharing this today for a couple of reasons.

Firstly – I’m having one of those ‘pinch me, this must be a dream’ days. It’s a good dream, but I’m shaking my head and wondering how I got here.

Secondly – the main reason I’m writing this is that I want to share my story because the more successful bloggers I talk to the more I realise that I’m not the only one who feels like they’re in the middle of a dream that they don’t quite belong in.

On the flip side of things I also talk to a lot of newer and less established bloggers who tell me that they look at ‘successful bloggers’ and wonder if they can ever be like them.

Sometimes as more established bloggers those of us who have been around for a while come off as being more polished and qualified than we really are. The reality is that most of us are pretty normal and ordinary people.

Most of us have little experience in publishing, limited training in communication and have days where we wonder if we really belong or why we’ve had the success that we have.

By no means am I saying bloggers who’ve been successful don’t deserve their success (many of the bloggers I’m thinking about are creative, smart and hard working people) – I guess I just wanted to acknowledge that while I write about being a Professional blogger that there are days where I’m not sure I fit the ‘mold’. I hope in doing so that bloggers of all levels might feel a little more ‘qualified’ no matter what their background.

For me the key is not to be put off by the achievements of others but to focus upon who you are and how you can be useful to others. Learn from those who may have gone before – but don’t become distracted by them. Instead work hard on who you are and what you’re doing.

Keep in mind that blogging and the social media space is not really owned by anyone – none of us really ‘belong’ any more than anyone else. To put it more positively – we all belong and have as much right to the space as each other. 10 years ago the blogosphere didn’t really exist. 5 years back ‘social media’ was hardly a blip on the radar.

We’re all still finding our way in this space and there’s plenty of room for more to join us.

About Darren Rowse
Darren Rowse is the founder and editor of ProBlogger Blog Tips and Digital Photography School. Learn more about him here and connect with him on Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn.
Comments
  1. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. This really helps me in so many ways – It helps to see the human side of your blog and it really helps to know that ordinary people really can do this blogging thing and make extraordinary differences in the lives of others.
    You certainly make a difference in the way I blog. This gives me the courage to continue on, to just keep learning my craft. I’m hoping that one day I can share that same “pinch me” experience. Oh, what a wonderful day it will be.

  2. yaa this happens most of the time not have enough time to spend with loved ones, lonliness, depression, drinking all these give a thought its better to do a 9-5 job than blogging

  3. Great post. Thanks so much. Yes, sometimes it seems we’re typing to the cyber-breezes…. then, someone will leave a comment that really connects you to the outside world and you know you are in a community.

    Quite an adventure…

  4. I always like seeing where people started off… tends to add an extra layer of ‘human’ in my thinking of them (you were already pretty human before lol, this is just for general).

    Honestly I think its awesome that you still have days you don’t feel like you fit in! We’re all in this together, however new or ‘old’ we are. Great reminder Darren, and boy have you come a long way!

  5. I never belong anywhere, Homeless as a kid all the rest of it, but with my site I feel like I belong.

    It’s a complete gift this ‘game’ and all it takes is hours of work. It’s not hard or difficult but the very fact that ANYBODY can do this is amazing.

    I love the fact I can talk to people a thousand miles away having never seen their face and still connect.

    If I didn’t do this I don’t know where I’d be,

    Happy belated birthday by the way brother

    James

    TheInfoPreneur

  6. Thanks for this article Darren. It give me new spirit to continue my blogging journey.

  7. Craig Allen says: 04/29/2010 at 1:14 am

    Thank you for this. You’re almost described me– I’m interested in many things, but an expert in little. I’ve done many different jobs– all sort of related to communicating– but my resume is fairly incoherent. I feel I’m quite an underachiever, too.

    I’m currently blogging for a (poor) living for someone else… but I like it. You’ve inspired me to keep doing it, and look to doing it for myself soon.

  8. One of my favorite things about blogging is this community of bloggers. We aren’t cut-throat. We share successes and miseries. And when something works, we don’t keep it to ourselves – we want it to work for everyone. I love blogging and hope that it becomes full-time one day, but I enjoy the learning and growing (the journey) and am a very patient man. Thank you, Darren! P.S. I just added the retweet button to my blog – makes it’s super easy for a reader with a twitter account to use. Anita (@ModelSupplies) got me here today. :-)

  9. It takes less effort to be a leader than a follower. College degrees are irrelevant when you totally shift the paradigm which is what you’re doing but getting a career in blogging!

  10. Hey Darren,

    This is so cool that you are writing this. Because I’m fairly new to blogging in fact only 7 months. I’m having so much fun with it. Now, I can’t wait till the time comes when I’m traveling the world at speaking engagements.

    Thanks for the inspiration!

    Chat with you later…
    Josh

  11. Thanks Darren,

    I’ve been trying to blog for around 4 years now, and I finally started last November. I must admit after it was very hard to start I now enjoy every bit of it!

    It is great to see how your success has developed and the long road you’ve taken. My sincerest wish is to be in a similar situation, one day. As Keisha already said (and I believe this, too) … you, your blog and your thoughts have been very inspiring to many people. Thanks so much!

    Best wishes,
    Eitel

  12. This is probably one of your most helpful posts for me that you’ve ever written. Thank you for taking the time to publish it.

  13. It is inspiring to hear of success stories like yours. You do give us hope that we can succeed as we all bring a unique mix of strengths and weaknesses to the party.

    One thing that we will never have, though, is the opportunity to go back to 2002 and jump in at the beginning. I remember thinking about blogs as the online version of journals. I never thought of it as a business platform and dismissed them. Now I feel a little bit like the guy who passed on signing the Beatles.

  14. Thanks for the encouragement. It would be nice to be living a dream like yours — not that mine is all that bad.

  15. Keep in mind that blogging and the social media space is not really owned by anyone – none of us really ‘belong’ any more than anyone else. ,,,,,,We’re all still finding our way in this space and there’s plenty of room for more to join us.

    Darren…….You summed it up NICELY!

  16. Lovely post, Darren. And timely for myself. I am just starting to get serious about making some cash from my blog presence (as slight as it is ATM), and have been having the feeling that I am not qualified. Your statement that we all belong is a powerful one, and one I am going to keep in mind as I move forward.
    Thank you for sharing your insights on this with all of us. I am sure there are many that are like me who needed to hear the message this sends.
    Gurl

  17. Do any bloggers really “belong”? What makes the good bloggers stand out is the fact that the provide unique insights. It’s difficult to do this is you “belong” to a mainstream group.

    I’ve found blogging to be a great way to publish some unusual thoughts or opinions. I’ve always enjoyed engaging in interesting discussions with people, but you can reach a lot more people via a blog than you can in verbal conversation.

    Speaking of not belonging … after listening to the audio version of my story The Cell Window, a co-worker told me that if I were a single guy, she’d keep her distance from me. But since I’m the married father of two, the disturbing content of the story doesn’t bother her as much (yeah, I’m not sure this is solid logic, either). My fiction writing has really opened people’s eyes and made them realize that there’s a dark side to me :)

  18. I can appreciate the insight too. I haven’t been blogging/writing nearly as long as you and every once and a while I feel the same way. Having bloggers like you that are modest, successful, and personable def give guys like me something to shoot for. I love coming here and leave comments not because I hope that it will lead to hits on my own blog (that’s the bonus) but because put up posts like this and create a community around blogging. Thanks.

  19. It’s all about “acting as if” just like the scene in the movie “Boiler Room.”

    You have to act as if you are a professional. You have to act as if you have already made it and you have to believe that you are the real deal.

    Some days that just entails psyching yourself up a little bit and pulling yourself up by your bootstraps when things are not going so well. Sometimes you have to throw yourself a pity party.

    It all boils down to believing that you can do it just like the next guy/gal. I really appreciate that you show where you came from Darren, and that you don’t have to be given a golden set of keys to really make it out there.

    Inspiration for us all.

    -Joshua Black
    The Underdog Millionaire

    • Joshua Black – I’m in two minds about ‘acting as is’. I certainly think there’s something to having belief in yourself and trying to be the person you want to become – but part of me reacts badly when people say that they ‘fake it til they make it’ as at times I think this can set you up for trouble when you’re blogging if you’re presenting yourself as someone who knows what they’re talking about if they don’t in reality. I guess it’s probably about being the person you want to become internally but also being transparent enough to let others see who you really are as well.

  20. Thanks for sharing your story. It is really interesting. I hope you can post more, I mean more detail on your experience how your life as a professional blogger.

  21. Do you ever think you caught a break by getting in at the right time? Not to demean your success at all, but to put it another way, do you think there are too many bloggers now and another voice would just be a “me too.”

    I enjoy writing a blog but I’m not sure I have the right “voice” to make a full time living at it. Am I deceiving myself by thinking there’s a profitable future to my online writing?

    • Siddhartha – to some extent I do put down some of my success to timing (and luck). No question about it, I started ProBlogger just before people really started to do it as a living and even got into blogging at a time where there was less competition (although do remember thinking numerous times that I was ‘too late’ to catch up to the big bloggers of that time). However I still see bloggers breaking into different niches regularly and know it can still be done.

      I still think that there’s opportunity for new people to break in, even with a ‘voice’ that you might think is overly unique. Keep working hard at it, looking for opportunities and I think there’s certainly hope.

  22. Thank you Darren for sharing your story. It shows how truly humble you are. Your story though reminds me of something Sonia Simone said in one of the Third Tribe interviews, “In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.” We often discount the so called “little” that we know, not realizing that there are soooooo many people who would love to have the same knowledge.

    I wish you all the best and you are definitely an inspiration to all of us!

  23. I’m at a bit of a cross-roads myself with blogging and this gave me a little spark of enouragement, so thank you!

  24. Thanks for sharing this post with us. I like reading about how you got started with blogging, as you are a great role model for anyone who wants to become a “pro blogger”.

    My favorite part was where you talked about how you were sort of undisciplined, and that you had a hard time sticking to anything for a long period of time. It just helps to remind everyone that although you’re at a point where many of us want to be, you are STILL just one of us: another human being.

    And because you’re human, and not perfect, it helps remind us that the same level of success is very much possible for everyone, regardless of how imperfect you are (being undisciplined at times, switching jobs a lot, being late, etc).

    Thanks again for yet another great post!

  25. Like you, Darren, I often ask myself ‘How do I got here?’

    This is not because I’m a successful blogger. To keep it all up and due to the crisis I have to do work so now and then I would never had accepted years ago.

    So instead of living in a dream it’s more living in a nightmare.

    But the positive part is that every day whilst working on my blog and watching it grow (blog and audience), my life feels less and less than a permanent LSD-trip (like Nick Cage called it in the movie ‘The Family Man’).

    As my only option is to move on with it I already look forward to see you at the other side of the fence one day.

    Have a great day! All of you.

  26. Thank you for the reminder that everybody starts somewhere; the important thing is to start.

  27.  I think your right that we do get wrapped up in seeing successful bloggers like yourself and think we really don’t have chance to go the distance.  But in all actuality, you’re the same as us and vice versa.  It’s something all of us have to remember, even if one day we are in the shoes writing a similar article to our readers.  Thanks for the down to earth article to put us all in check just in case we need it.

  28. I know it’s Autumn in Australia, but didn’t realised it’s 2008 there too? (Big tip for November, Viewed will win the Melbourne Cup)

    Typo aside, I think I’ll bookmark this and come back and read it next time I feel I’m not cut out for what I’m trying to do. Thanks!

    • Mick – oops, it’s strange, I’ve made the mistake this year numerous times of using 2008 instead of 2010. Never 2009…. always 2008. What’s with that?

  29. I find your post very encouraging. There are days I do feel I don’t belong but I keep pressing on and that feeling passes.
    I am hoping for others to find me and listen to my voice.

  30. Great reflective post, Darren.
    As a beginner I am dealing with these thoughts all the time. If you think of it though, this is exactly the lure of the blog: ordinary people, not shouting, only whispering, yet making their voice heard as clearly as the main stream media screamers and yellers.

    Do you by any chance have posts on how you go about finding inspiration?

  31. Thank you for the insight Darren.

    At some time, somewhat like yourself, I realized that there was an internet out there and that I should go and learn more about it. What seemed like such a gimme just left me drifting in a vacuum and even though I had bought courses nothing much was happening for me. Half baked efforts, oh heck not even half baked!

    But I got hooked. And it was blogging that grabbed me by the scruff of my neck. Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, I was going to write. Reading good writing, i.e., Pulitzer prize winning kind of writing, just put me in the dumps – how could I ever write as well as these people? I talked myself out of even trying although periodically I would submit articles to magazines and was amazed that they actually got published!

    Beginning of 2009 I decided that I can write. I can be a blogger and I don`t have to write for any literary prize – just write and that I can make it a business. I thought that I could apply that which I already learned and along the way learn what I do not know. What a great ride that has been! I learned that I do not know a lot …lol…

    In the time of a year and a few months I have made some progress, the biggest is the realization that now that I know what I know, I know how little I know! It’s been slow especially when I look at the results of other bloggers who are way ahead of me with results in traffic and rankings and who have been up for half the time that I have – and sometimes even less!

    This post of yours Darren is very inspirational for people like me. I`ll keep on taking one small step day after day, and sometimes the steps have a much longer stride.

    Thank you so much. I`ll keep on keeping and one day, I`ll be pinching at some level or another too!

  32. [smile]

    Why am I not surprised by the number of comments on this post?

    Darren, you open to us the kind of gee-whiz humility that defines your presence on your blogs. I think it’s that humility that keeps blogging interesting, fulfilling, keeps you wanting to continue building and growing, not just your blogs, but yourself.

    All the great information and writing aside, that kind of personality is a magnet for readership.

    • Patrick – thanks. I’m not sure I’m the most humble guy going around, I have my moments when I’m sure I’m too big for my own boots (is that the saying?) but I guess I do like to keep it real and help people to get a realistic picture of my life.

  33. Jason says: 04/29/2010 at 3:23 am

    This was a really inspirational post! Thanks a lot for publishing this, it had my full attention from beginning to end.

  34. Abbie says: 04/29/2010 at 3:42 am

    I can’t wait to be in the “pinch me I must be dreaming” phase ;)

  35. Hey Darren
    That’s so awesome to hear. This gives me the courage to continue blogging. Thanks so much for sharing your awesome insights bud.

    Cheers,
    Dev

  36. I feel this way too. Almost all the time, in fact.

    I’ve been full-time with my business for about a year and a half now, and everyday I’m afraid that it’s just going to fall apart before my eyes.

    This “running from failure” mindset has certainly motivated me to produce, and my revenue has grown nicely. But, man, sometimes I wish I could just convince my brain to settle the heck down!

    • Mike Piper – your comment “I’ve been full-time with my business for about a year and a half now, and everyday I’m afraid that it’s just going to fall apart before my eyes.” resonates with me. I think almost every day for a couple of years after I went full time I would say something like that to my wife – we always had a back up plan ‘just in case it fails’.

      One day though I woke up and realized even if the worst thing happened to us (Google de-indexing us for example) that I’d find a way to keep keeping on and that all the worry about failing was actually taking energy away from me succeeding. I still have moments where I think about what would happen if it fell apart (it’s probably wise to have some kind of back up plan) but I definitely don’t let myself go there in a worrying type way.

  37. WOW, wow & wow.
    … thank you for this post. I love that you shared your “credentials.” Credential is one of those funny things that often appear to be so necessary…yet the actual proof of what you can do is found in the result (the blog). Such a wonderfully honest post filled with inspiration!

  38. It’s amazing where life takes us. Your story is really inspiring and just look at all the people who can identify with it.
    This is like a reality check for me, but in a good way :)

  39. very inspiring post Darren, just love love your blog and more better this post.

  40. As a new blogger I sometimes look at people like yourself, David Risley, Yaro and others and can’t help but be intimidated by how organized you are, how many tools you have, and how just generally dialed in everything seems to be.

    I have only been at this for a few months, I have had my Alexa ranking crack the top 500,000, and generally am very happy with the experience. However, with the hours I dedicate everyday I also wonder why I am not one of these “I received 1000 subscribers in my first two month” success stories.

    Also, the thing that really strikes me is that it seems to me that most of the very successful bloggers blog about blogging.

    I blog about real estate. San Diego real estate more often than not.

    Do you think that this is limiting in the amount of traffic and subscribers I can achieve?

    Finally, I am having trouble with the balance between my real estate goals, which is to get registrations on my website to contact real estate leads, and my blogging goals of creating a following and then implementing monitization tools.

    What I do have is the hunger, energy, and passion for the great trade. I guess that’s something.

    For that reason alone I believe I do belong.

    • Daniel Beer – thanks for the comment. Please don’t be intimidated, I can’t speak for David and Yaro but for me, ‘organized’ is not really a word that I’d use and my ‘tools’ are relatively simple. I guess one thing in our favor is that because we’ve stuck at it for years now there is momentum and so at times we don’t have to do much to get a result on a project we’re working on – however I by no means have it all worked out.

      In terms of ‘the successful bloggers blog about blogging’ comment – I can see why that might seem the case – I guess if people are wanting to learn about blogging they read our blogs and hear about it mainly from us – however there are thousands of full time bloggers who don’t blog about blogging out there also – many of whom have just never spoken about it. I myself blog mainly on my photography site, in a sense ProBlogger has become my side project and is a lot smaller.

      Your niche is certainly more focused than some topics – by focusing on a location you do limit how many potential readers you can have, but from my understanding you’re living in a fairly large city and I suspect at any one time there will be a large number of people looking to buy/sell/rent real estate – so if you can become #1 in that niche you have a reasonably sizeable market.

      Keep working at it!

  41. Please help me on how to look for a target audience for your blog niche online. Thanks

  42. Wow!

    Life is SO serendipitous! I feel so blessed to have come across you and this article today! I’ve been blogging for a whole 31/2 weeks and didn’t even know how to check email a year ago. Everything that lead up to me blogging and everything that I’ve experienced in the past few weeks had definitely been magical, the people, the self discovery, the creative outlet etc – but I can already tell that self doubt and that uncertainty that comes with anything new, especially this big, is lurking in the shadows.

    Thank you so very much for your inspiration! I will be visiting often!

    Wenderly

  43. Thanks – that’s the story of my life, but I am a bit younger and am currently on the first months of my blogging. I also often think do I suite here? Can I make it? Now I know that I can!
    Thanks!

    • Edward – there’s certainly no guarantees of success in blogging, however you have as much right to succeed at it as anyone else. Go for it!

  44. I think one of the biggest challenges a blogger faces is their will to continue in the early stages, when your successful you don’t have that problem because you are, well……successful.

    Most blogger begin their blogs with illusions of grandeuer, they hear stories of people making millions from their blogs and getting 100,000 visita day, what of course they don’t realise is that it take immense effort and dedication to get this, hence why most bloggers give up in the first 3-6 months.

    Your sense of belonging gets put into question when your inflated expectations come into contact with reality, you feel let down by the ‘system’ and start questioning whether this blogging thing is really for you.

    I get this all the time at the moment, mainly because my traffic is not moving as quick as i want, and I have nowhere near the subscribers I expected, but why do I carry on?

    Simple, because I love it, I love writing and creating content, so I guess what I’m trying to say is that if you want you feel that sense of belonging and to ultimately succeed, you have to love your blog wholeheartedly and believe in it, the rest will follow.

    • Adam – love this comment. For me it’s about unmet expectations. Many bloggers do start out with unrealistic ones and when they hit reality the world comes crashing down (or at least their blogging world does).

  45. Thanks for this entry, quite motivating to write more and write more often.

  46. Jaime Mondestin says: 04/29/2010 at 7:08 am

    Thank you so much for taking those few minutes. I have learn a lot from you regarding getting my feet wet into the blogging environment. This article came at the write time for me personally. I’m currently constructing my weblog. I sometime feel what you just share in your article. But thanks to you I know have the impetus to keep going.

    keep those articles coming in :)

  47. IF i will be a successful blogger then i must think about my past which will be full of black n white roundup in my mind and my face will has a smile that is because of my future images in my mind.

    Ohh! i really want to be a successful blogger and want to feel all the feelings of Darren someday.

  48. I think that most people who are prominant in a field, even celebrities, are usually down to earth even though people perceive them as these untouchable figures in a higher realm of society. Sure, for some ego gets in the way, but mostly they’re down to earth.

  49. Darren, thanks for the little pep talk. I feel motivated again.

  50. Thanks for sharing this story!

    I’ve been putting out several blogs for a while now and there are days I wonder why I’m doing it… is anyone reading anything I write… do they even care what I have to say?

    I am most shocked when I get a comment and wonder if I should publish my knee-jerk response… something along the lines of, “Who are you and why in the hell would you want to waste your time reading about me?!?!?”

    It’s a very strange profession, but I think I’ll stick around for a while :)

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