PB121: 7 Strategies for Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

Hey there. Welcome to Episode 121 of the ProBlogger Podcast. My name is Darren Rowse. Today, I want to talk about an issue that I see a lot of bloggers struggling with. In fact, I’ll see some bloggers really crippled by this. It’s imposter syndrome. It’s something that I, myself, had suffered with quite a bit over the years. In fact, there’s been times—I’m going to get a little bit personal in today’s episode and tell you about this—where I pretty much been paralyzed by it. I look back and they weren’t the best times in my life. I’m going to be honest today. Listen on if you want to hear that. If you want to not hear that, then you might want to find another one. I think if you suffer with this imposter syndrome that, hopefully, you’ll get something out of my story that will help you to get through yourself.

I want to present to you with seven different strategist for overcoming it. We’re going to touch on fear, we’re going to touch on self-doubt, we’re going to touch on feeling like maybe other people think you’re a fake or a fraud. We’re going to get really raw today, but I hope that’s okay with you because I think it’s really important.

This is important stuff, whether you’re a blogger, a podcaster, or a speaker, a YouTuber, Instagrammer. If you’re putting stuff at different other people, then this is something you probably are going to grapple with one time or another. In fact, I recently read a study that said 70% of people suffer from this at one point or another in their life. If this is you, go listen on. If you know someone else who might enjoy this and find it useful, please feel free to pass it on to them as well.

You can find today’s show notes at problogger.com/podcast/121, where I’m going to include some quite detailed notes of what I’m going through in this particular episode. If you do prefer to read, you can head over there. I’ll also include some further reading and some resources that I found helpful in dealing with this myself and also preparing this particular podcast. Again, it’s problogger.com/podcast/121. Are you ready to get a little personal? Let’s do it.

Do you ever fear that you’re about to be found out and that everyone is about to discover that you’re not as smart as they think or that you don’t really know what you’re talking about on your blog? Do you ever feel that way about your blog? If so, you’re not alone, but you may be suffering from imposter syndrome. I recently asked some of our ProBlogger newsletter subscribers to send me a sentence about their biggest challenge. One of the common themes that came back was around self-doubt and the feeling like a fraud. Many bloggers definitely grapple with these feelings and I’m one of them. 

As I look back over the last, and I’ll say, years of blogging, there’ve been many nights where I’ve laid in bed worried that people’s expectations of me exceeded the reality of who I was. Many times of these thoughts have come. Often, just before I’m about to speak at an event or when I’m about to launch a new product, usually when something big is about to happen. I’ll wake up in a cold sweat and have that moment.

Imposter syndrome is a term that was first used in the 1970s by clinical psychologists, Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes (I think it is), who were studying high-achieving individuals, who had an inability to internalize their accomplishments, and who had this persistent fear of being exposed as a fraud. Despite their being really good evidence that they knew what they’re talking about. People suffering to this often dismiss their success as lack or good timing or had this feeling that they were deceiving people in some way.

Now, I got that definition from Wikipedia. Thank you, Wikipedia. Sometimes this feeling is accompanied with feelings from people who are successful of just being lucky or I don’t really know what I’m talking about, I may have fooled everyone and there’s a counting fear of being found out. 

This is a feeling that people across many different fears suffer from. I did a little bit of research today and I found actors talking about it, I found many public speakers talking about it, I found podcasters admitting to it, I found plenty of big examples on bloggers who also had this struggle with fearing that they’re about to be named as a fraud or a fake, even though there wasn’t really any evidence of that. If you’re feeling this imposter syndrome, you’re definitely not alone. 

One of the things I’ve come to in my own imposter syndrome is that maybe it’s actually not necessarily a bad thing to think it. What is bad is when you let that feeling and thinking hold you back from some success or when that feeling sabotages what you do. Imposter syndrome, there’s an element of fear and fear is something I’ve talked about in many podcasts in the past. In fact, if you want to go back and listen to episode 54, I gave you three questions to ask when you’re feeling fear and maybe they’re applicable for this particular issue as well. Fear is something that is actually useful. It can hold you back and that is a bad thing, but it can actually prepel you forwards. I think with imposter syndrome, you can actually the same thing.

When you feel like a fake or a fraud and you allow those feelings to paralyze you, or stop you, or sabotage you and your blogging in some way, then that’s a bad thing, obviously, and that’s something you need to deal with. On the other hand, when you’re able to take those fears and use them as a motivation to do better, to learn more, to be more thorough in your content, to serve your readers better, then your imposter syndrome can be put to some good news. That’s the first thing I really want to say about it. 

Now, it’s a lot easier to say than it is to make that switch and make the imposter syndrome work for you. What I want to do today in this particular episode is give you seven pieces of advice for bloggers, podcasters, online entrepreneurs, speakers on the topic of imposter syndrome. This really does come out of a little bit of personal place for me. Please forgive me if I do get a little bit personal with this because it’s something I have really grappled with many times in the past. It’s not something that I think I’ve really even talked about much in public before. 

Here’s a few things. I’ve come up with seven but it might actually turn into eight or nine, who knows where this is going to go. The first thing I want to say (and this is a bit of a word of encouragement for you if you are feeling this) is that you need to understand that you’re probably suffering imposter syndrome because you’re a high-achiever or you have the potential to be. Every piece of research that I found about imposter syndrome is always talked about as being a problem that high-achievers have or at the very least, people who have high expectations of themselves.

If you listen in this particular episode and you’re resonating with your idea of imposter syndrome, you can at least be comforted by the fact that your feelings are probably coming out of a place where you’re not willing to set off a poor performance and you’re someone who wants to give your best and achieve something. I think that’s a good thing. 

I want to start off with that. Not because it solves your imposter syndrome, but you’re feeling those things because you got standards. You don’t want to just get by. You want to achieve. Start with that. That’s a positive. That’s something that we need to hang on to. If we weren’t feeling these feelings, we’re probably just be willing to fly above the seat of our pants. That’s the first thing I want to say. 

The second thing I want to say and this is one of the main things I really want to talk about is that if you’re feeling imposter syndrome, you do need to work and I need to work on self-acceptance and setting realistic expectations of yourself. As I look back over the years, there’s been a number of times where I’ve pretty much been paralyzed by imposter syndrome. One of them was in the lead-up to a talk that I was invited to give at the World Domination Summit a few years ago. I was invited by my friend, Chris Guillebeau, to give this talk in front of 4000 people in Portland, Oregon.

Once I immediately let that opportunity, almost within seconds of saying yes to Chris, imposter syndrome began to sink in. I began to have these thoughts that haunted me and that would literally wake me up in the middle of the night with a cold sweat. I wrestled with the thoughts for months and at times I became really stuck in the preparation for this talk. I almost got to the point pulling out.

I remember drafting an email to Chris saying, “I’m really sorry. I know it’s last minute but I can’t do this.” Now, I did end up talking myself down and delivering that talk and I’ll post a video to it because it was one of the best things that I’ve ever done. It is one of the best days that I’ve ever had and I’m so glad that I’ve talked myself down from this imposter syndrome. What I did in talking myself down was realize that a lot of what I was thinking was completely unrealistic and I was having unrealistic expectations on myself and of the talk. 

Once standing in front of 4000 people is a pretty big thing. I pictured it in my mind even bigger than the reality. When I pictured doing that talk before I did it in my mind, I started to picture the perfect talk. I was picturing it as the peak of my speaking career. The thing that everything else in my life would hang on afterwards, a talk that would change the life of everyone in the room and that will make me look so great. Really, a lot of my expectations on that talk and a lot of the things I was dreaming of were perfectionism, but perfectionism way beyond what was possible. This perfectionism began to creep into my thinking. 

I actually think perfectionism can be a bit of a good thing because it can help improve, but the problem with it is that when you obsess about it the way I was obsessing about it, is that you begin to realize that you just cannot possibly achieve what you are starting to think. Sometimes (and this is what happened for me), alongside that perfectionism thinking begins to creep in other equally unattainable realities that you began to think of.

One of those for me was that I began to think that I was about to be exposed as a fraud because I realized I wasn’t able to deliver the perfect talk and I wasn’t able to do this thing that I was imagining, so I went to the other extreme and I began to imagine things like a crowd booing me and a hate campaign unraveling on Twitter because of something that I said, and that then lead to the crashing of my business, my family, and my life. I know it’s crazy, but they’re the kind of things that would go through my mind in bed at night as I began to talk.

I’d be swinging between these two unrealistic realities. Perfectionism on one hand and my world literally crashing around me because I didn’t achieve perfectionism on the other hand. I would swing between these two things and neither was a reality, neither was realistic. In the end, I woke up to myself and I managed to talk myself down into a more realistic picture. I came to my senses by realizing that nothing I can do in that talk would be perfect but that was okay and that it wouldn’t lead to the end of the world. What I needed to be in that talk was honest and true to myself and to focus upon giving my best.

I know a lot of people don’t suffer with this imposter syndrome, probably don’t relate to that at all. They’re probably wondering about my mental health, but this is the process that I went through. Really, what I want to encourage you too as you deal with your imposter syndrome is to try and take yourself to that place where you find a middle ground between two realities that you’re imagining. Ultimately, my advice here is not to be too hard on yourself and to do whatever you can to bring yourself to a place where you are kind to yourself in that. 

The third thing I want to say—this is particularly relevant for bloggers, podcasters, speakers, anyone who has an audience—is that you really need to focus upon your audience. As I was coming out of this experience in the preparation for World Domination Summit, as I talk myself down, one of the things that really helped me a lot was that I had this really confronting realization that all of the worry I was doing was incredibly selfish. None of the things that I was doing in my thinking was focused upon my audience, it was all about me and how I was going to be perceived. 

I don’t really like to admit the fact that that’s going on in my mind and I’m talking a bit of a punt here and admitting that to you and hoping that you’d be kind to me as a result. Ultimately, I’m being really greedy with my thinking. By thinking all that means how I was going to be perceived. The reality was that I have this incredible opportunity to give something of myself to these 4000 people. I realized that I was being selfish, I was being greedy, and I decided that everytime I found myself beginning to worry about how I would be perceived, that I needed to start changing the way I was thinking.

I needed to challenge myself to think about who my audience would be, how they might be feeling, what the realities of their life might be, and how I might have an impact upon their lives with my words. I began to refocus my thoughts. This was a very powerful thing for me. It took me away from my self-centered, greedy, selfish thinking which was really not helping me anyway. It began to focus me upon what the whole point of that talk was, the people who were in the room listening.

I think this is just great advice for speakers or anyone creating something where other people would be listening, reading, watching. Whether you’re a blogger, a YouTuber, an Instagrammer, a podcaster, a speaker, it’s so easy to allow our minds to wonder how our content makes us look. I found myself doing this as I write a blog post, as I prepare podcast and, “How is this going to make me look? Am I going to come across okay?” You really need to challenge those thoughts and ask yourself not, “How is this going to make me look?” but, “How is this going to make my readers feel?” and, “How is it going to change their life in some way?” I think it’s really important to refocus your attention upon your readers, your listeners.

This is why over the last years over my blogging, I’ve really tried so much harder to interact with my readers as much as possible because I find that the more interactions I have with my readers, the better the picture I have in my mind of who they are and the more easy it is for me to focus upon their minds on creating content. This is why I’m doing more live video. This is why I’m doing more question and answer in a lot of the content that I’m producing. This is why I try to attend more events.

I find the more I know you as my listener, the easier it is for me to focus upon creating content that is going to change your life, that makes you look good, and that makes you better in some way. The more I focus upon you, the less I’m thinking about me and that has really helped me a lot with my imposter syndrome. 

One of the other things I would say on this particular topic of focusing upon your audience is one of the best things that you can do to show others that you are not a fake, that you are not a fraud is to deliver value to them. If you’re dealing with imposter syndrome, when you begin to think this way, let that propel you towards doing something of high value for other people. 

This is another thing that I’ve started to train myself to do when I’ve seen myself falling into this pattern of thinking this negative way, this imposter syndrome thinking, I’m trying to use that as a signal to create a blog post that’s going to change someone’s life or create a podcast that’s going to have some content in it that helps people in some way. This is where I’m encouraging you to see imposter syndrome as your friend because it can be a signal for you to go and do something that is going to work against you over being accused of being a fake or a fraud. 

The fourth thing that I want to say is to be transparent. That’s the most powerful thing that I think you can do to smash imposter syndrome is to blog, to podcast, to speak with transparency. Here’s the thing. People can only ever, really, truly call you a fraud or a fake if you’re trying to be something you’re not or if you’re hiding some reality of your situation from them. That’s the only time that you can ever really be a fraud or a fake, is if you’re hiding something. 

I was at Social Media Marketing World a couple of months ago now, and Cliff Ravenscraft from the Podcast Answer Man briefly talked about imposter syndrome. He made this really quite quick observation that you are only really an imposter if you’re lying about who you are or what you’ve achieved. His suggestion was just to be as honest as you can when you’re writing your content by revealing three things, by telling your reader really transparently, “This is who I am, this is what I’ve experienced to this point, and this is what I’m learning, and these are my hopes, dreams, and goals for the future.” I think that is great advice. Let those things shine through in the content you create.

I think this particularly relates to bloggers who might be blogging on a topic that they don’t feel they are qualified to write about yet and I get asked these quite a bit, people saying, “I want to write about this particular topic, maybe it’s accounting but I’m not qualified as an accountant. Can I legitimately write about that particular topic?” When I get asked this type of question, I almost always tell my story of starting ProBlogger.

I started ProBlogger back in 2004 and once I was on the way to being a full time blogger when I started ProBlogger, I still felt like I was at the beginning of my journey and I suffered from imposter syndrome as a result. I’ve only been blogging for less than two years, I hadn’t reached the full time level (although I was on the way), I didn’t feel I have as much experience as other people, I didn’t feel I was technical enough, I didn’t feel I was a great writer. I did feel I’ve been a bit lucky and I’ve been in the right place at the right time. I worry that people would spot my weakness, insufficiencies, and the gaps that I had in my knowledge. The way I decided to combat that was to get in the front fort and to be very transparent about what I did know.

For the first couple of years on ProBlogger, it’s really my story more than anything else. I shared what I was trying, I shared what was working for me, what wasn’t working for me. I pointed out the areas that I didn’t have skills in. I shared my own questions and asked my readers to teach me. I pointed out the failures I had and the mistakes that I made as embarrassing as some of them were. I admit when I didn’t know the answer to a question when people ask me a question.

As I just said, in the early days of ProBlogger, the blog was more of a story of my own journey rather than a guide claiming to be the comprehensive and such all questions on the topic. If you feel like maybe you legitimately don’t have all the answers and legitimately you don’t have all the qualifications, just admit that. That takes any ammunition that anyone could ever have of accusing you of being a fake away from them. 

When you bog in this very transparent way, it’s very hard for someone to call you fake or a fraud because you’ve been transparent about the things that they might want to accuse you of wanting to hide. So blog with transparency. That’s what I did. In time, you will gather the knowledge and you will gather some of the expertise that you might not have by simply blogging in that way. 

The fifth thing that I want to talk about is to own your successes. Those suffering with imposter syndrome or those of us suffering with it have difficulty internalizing and owning our successes. This goes right to the heart of the definition of it. We have really difficulty owning the things we have achieved, the successes that we have. 

We write off success as being the result of external things—lack of the people’s actions, good timing. It is hard to combat that because it’s a lot of just the way we think. Even just being aware of that problem that we have can help. There are some things you can do to combat that thinking. Often, I think it really is about patterns of speaking and speaking. We need to break those patterns.

Begin to become aware of when you are saying things like, “I was lucky. I was in the right place at the right time.” Replace that thinking with other things. For example, when I find myself wanting to say, “I was just lucky.” I am trying to say, “I worked hard to take the opportunities that came.” Which is a more realistic and more true statement. I wasn’t just lucky. Yes, I was in the right place at the right time when I started blogging but I have worked my butt off everyday since that time. I’ve worked hard to take the opportunities that I was given. That is a more realistic, that is a more true statement than I was lucky. You need to own your successes, you need to own the work that you have done to achieve what you have done. 

When people acknowledge your success or give you positive feedback, instead of trying to write it off and push it away, you need to own that as well. So, thank them rather than explaining away any success that you’ve had. Don’t deny your success. Embrace it in some way. Another way that you might want to help with this is to keep a diary of the things that you have achieved. It sounds very egotistical but it’s only egotistical if you show it to other people. It’s a private thing for you. It’s something that you need to be looking at over time. Record the positive feedback, the testimonials that others give you as well. Not to show off but for you to help you internalize your success.

The other thing I’d say about this is to give other people around you permission to pull you up if they hear you not owning your success. This is something that I really would encourage you to do. You may not want to tell everyone to do this but maybe a part or maybe a family member, a friend when they hear you writing off your success, not owning your success, give them permission to pull you up on that.

While we’re talking about success, on the flip side, there are times where we fail as well. My advice around failure—there are times when we fail—is to really try not to get bogged down in that failure because this can feed the imposter syndrome but rather reframe your failures as learning opportunities. Acknowledge the failure, don’t ignore it but use those failures as springboards into success. Again, that’s another way that you need to get yourself thinking and change your mindset. 

Two more things I’ll say about imposter syndrome in terms of advice to overcome it. Number six is to say yes to opportunities that stretch you. This may sound a little counterintuitive but I’m a big believer in saying yes to things that you’re not sure that you can do yet as long as you bring transparency to it.

Here’s the thing, the only way you are going to become an expert or the go-to person in your industry or niche is if you gather knowledge, if you learn, if you put yourself in a position where the rubber hits the road. If you are someone who lives in fear of being called out as a fake but you’re not willing to put yourself in a position where you will learn and you will develop, then unfortunately, you’re never going to move through that. Put yourself out of your comfort zone.

If someone else thinks you can do something that you’re not so sure of, they give you an opportunity, take that as a vote of confidence from them and say yes to do it and then, learn how to do it. Now, you can catch your acceptance of the opportunities that come to you by being transparent and I do encourage you to do that. You might want to say, “Yes, I’m going to do this, but I’m going to have to learn some things along the way or I’m going to need some support in this particular areas where I don’t have any qualifications,” where maybe you don’t think you’re ready. But take the opportunity that takes you out of your comfort zone because you will grow so much by doing that. 

Taking that opportunity to speak at World Domination Summit a few years ago, it gave me so much confidence of moving through that and I’m getting so much insight as a result of that. I became a better person as a result of that as well. So, take those opportunities that come and you’ll be taking a step closer to being that person that you want to be and making the achievements that you want to achieve.

The last thing I’ll say about imposter syndrome is to live with it. I’m no psychologist, but I’m not sure that imposter syndrome really ever goes away. It hasn’t for me. I find myself thinking this way even after decades of dealing with it. Part of me has come to terms with the fact that I need to live with it. We need to put it in its place, we need to deal with it, we need to learn to use it when that’s appropriate to do so, to help us to grow, to help us to achieve, and help us to learn. Above all, we need to learn not to let it paralyze us. If it’s paralyzing you at the moment (and I know some of you listening to this right now are paralyzed by it), I want to encourage you to get some help to talk about it, to get some accountability around it. It might need to get some professional help or maybe it’s just about having a conversation with a friend who can talk you through it. 

Above all, I just really, really want to encourage you not to let this fear, not to let this imposter syndrome rub the world of what you know, of the story that you’ve got to tell, of the potential that you have to make the world a better place as a result of your contributions. When you let imposter syndrome rub the world in that way, then that’s just such a shame. I want to encourage you to tackle it, to learn, to live with it, to put it in its place and to include the others in that journey if you can get the support that you need.

I’m going to give you a whole heap of reading in today’s show notes. This is stuff that I’ve come across in putting together this particular podcast and I really would encourage you to check out those show notes and check out the links there. There are a lot of reading, you’ll see some of the things that I’ve talked about there as well as a whole heap of other advice from other wiser, smarter people than me. Not that I’m not smart because that’s feeding my imposter syndrome fear. 

I hope you find these useful and I would love to learn from you. What has helped you with your imposter syndrome if this is something that you struggle with? What do you do? What ways of thinking have you developed to overcome this? Leave a comment on today’s show notes and let me know exactly what it is that has helped you the most.

I hope you find today’s episode useful to you. It’s not always the easiest topic to talk about—fear, self-doubts—but I hope that’s been helpful and constructive chat to have. 

If this is something you want to talk further about, I do encourage you to find a friend, find someone who might understand that you can debrief with on this particular one, to give you some advice, some accountability, and some support with it. Also, if you feel able, we’d love to learn from you and how you’ve dealt with this particular issue yourself. 

You can head over to today’s show notes at problogger.com/podcast/121 where you can share your own tips, your own story. I would love to learn from you for the next time that this becomes a big issue for me. Thanks for listening today. I look forward to chatting with you again in episode 122.

Lastly, if you do want to share this with someone, please do share those show notes. I would love anyone who’s struggling with this to hear this kind of information. Thanks so much for listening. I will chat with you in the next couple of days. 

You’ve been listening to ProBlogger. If you like to comment on any of today’s topic or subscribe to the series, find us at problogger.com/podcast, tweet us @problogger, find us at facebook.com/problogger, also it’s ProBlogger on iTunes. 

Before I go, I want to give a big shout out and say thank you to Craig Hewitt and the team of Podcast Motor who has been editing all of our podcast for sometime now. Podcast Motor have a great range of services for podcast at all levels. They can help you to set up your podcast, but also offer a couple of excellent services to help you edit your shows and get them up with great show notes. Check them out at podcastmotor.com.