What to Do When You’re so Boring You’re Boring Yourself

This guest post is by freelance writer Jocelyn Anne.

Have you ever finished one of your own blogs written by yours truly and finished the dang thing bored out of your own mind? To the point where it’s too painful to even re-read it for basic proofing?

Well if you haven’t, not to fear, your day is coming. It happens. All good things must come to an end, or so they say. Not that I’m saying you’ll be boring forever. It’s just a phase. Or something. Anyway. Here’s what’s up.

If you’re bored, your readers are bored. And if your readers are bored, they’re going to stop coming back—like, super-fast. Readers are finicky like that. While you may have faith that your temporary boredom is just a phase, and I may have faith that your last irritatingly boring post was just a fluke, other readers aren’t likely to be so kind. They flee boring like mad.

So, what this boils down to is that you don’t have a whole lotta time to dwell and wallow in your phase. Maybe a few posts (if you’re lucky). Boredom calls for desperate measures. You’re gonna have to ditch yourself altogether and become someone much newer and cooler and hipper than you are. Sayonara baby.

My favorite way to break the boring posting doldrums is to create an entirely new person. New alias, new pen name, what have you. I decide what I’ll look like (always some sort of super model, of course), what my past was like, where I’m headed in life and how many hundreds of dollars I’m getting paid to write this blog (it helps). Then I decide what I’m passionate about. Who cares if it’s even remotely relevant to what I typically blog about. Clearly neither I nor my readers can bear to read any more of that right now.

So. You’re a new person, with a new passion. If you’ve got guts, you can post as yourself. If you’re not so gutsy yet, post it as a guest blog. Bottom line, do whatever will allow you to have the most freedom and most fun. Be wacky. Be crazy. Be fanatical. It honestly doesn’t matter. What matters is that you regain a voice again. It could be a superhero, it could be a cartoon character. It could be your super sexy blonde neighbor with the Greek goddess tan you despise. It could be the nerd who lurks behind the recycling at the Piggly Wiggly. You get the point. Pick one and write about bananas. Or maybe boxes.

Now, depending upon the severity of your boredom “condition” you can decide how far to take this. Do you need an entirely new blog? Probably not. But if you feel like the one you’re on is just too far gone for recovery, then do it! Break a new and start afresh. Sometimes a new little WordPress layout is all it takes. If you think you just need to snap out of it, then more likely than not, a few posts will do the trick and bring back some pizzazz to the normal, every-day you. If you feel like you could slip back at any moment though, then instill something like Friday Fun Day and post under your alias once a week from now on. Your readers will develop a bond with the two of you and you’ll get to be you and someone probably a whole lot more exciting.

What will happen is that you’ll have fun. Believe it or not. I know, I know, sometimes blogging is torture. But this won’t be. You’ll have to use an entirely new area of your brain, an entirely new capacity of your humor and wit and your sass that probably hasn’t seen the light of day in far too long. And, especially if you post as a guest, you have no fear of consequences. There’s nothing that can touch you or harm you because whoever the nut is that wrote that piece, wasn’t you! Brilliant, eh? Write a couple pieces. Write until you regain the spark and vim and vigor you used to have in your area of expertise.

Now, while I suggested this idea primarily for those of you suffering from boredom, or at least for those of you making your readers suffer from your boredom, it’s actually not the only thing this handy-dandy technique is good for. It’s also awesome for the wanna-be-writer struggling with finding and settling on a voice. Heck, try out a new voice a week. Toronto Tom this week, Sweetly Sara next. (A gender writing voice mix-up is always interesting.) Once you find a voice you’ve fallen in love with, then step into your own. Claim your own name and attach it to the voice you connected with. This might even be helpful for Writing 101 when your professor hates everything you do.

And finally! It’s also grand for the blogger who desires to be controversial but hasn’t the backbone, the experienced blogger who needs some work improving his technique, the ancient blogger who’s been blogging for far, far too long and my personal pet peeve: the blogger who has seemingly forgotten that blogs once consisted of words and has since taken to posting irritating iPhone pictures of what he ate for breakfast, lunch and dinner instead. (Isn’t that annoying?!)

Perhaps you know of a blogger or two you could forward this article on to? I know I do.

Freelance writer Jocelyn Anne is an avid blogger and sometimes writes as Ella Stella if she’s getting dull.  But, right now you’ll find her writing about captivating uses for a portable air conditioner!